To My Hurting Mind

To My Hurting Mind

You lurk in the shadows of alleyways; the seats at bus stops; the books on classroom shelves; and the walls of my home.

You turn my mouth dry; speed up my heartbeat; make my hands and legs tremble; hurl the vomit over the floor; and leak the diarrhoea out into the toilet.

You doubt my abilities by turning my stories and poems into jumbled words; laugh at my lisp when I speak out loud; and make the car collide into the kerb when I learn to drive.

You force me to hide beneath the bedsheets; guilt me by saying the food I love to eat is rotten; the novels I enjoy to read are boring; that I am wasting every day by doing nothing; and that I do not deserve to be supported.  

You trick me to think I am hated; that strangers want to hurt me; my friends want to leave me; that my family is ashamed of me; that I am a retard; that I should do everyone a favour and end it all.

You are my anxiety; my depression; my fear; my stress; my self-loathing; my guilt; but you will never win.

My hurting mind, I will harness you to write stories that will last forever; I will speak poems that will dance across the page; I will meet new friends and hold onto the ones I have; my family will always be proud; and I will do everyone a favour and live.

I will do everyone a favour and live...Copyright © 2017- Jake Borrett. All rights reserved.    



6 comments:

  1. Thank you for being so honest and brave Jake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Delete
    2. Joni Trautz Ippolito12 September 2017 at 18:21

      So true, great wtiting, you should be proud. Keep writing. We need you.

      Delete
    3. Thank you every so much Joni.

      Delete
  2. You hang in there. Your words are powerful and filled with strength even if you do not feel like it all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Allan. Wishing you all the best.

      Delete