Thoughts From Inside The Ambulance

Warning: This blog post contains strong language

Thoughts From Inside The Ambulance

I have been inside an ambulance only once. This was in 2007 before I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.

I awoke in the middle of the night with excruciating abdominal pain, screaming as if someone had stabbed me. No one had stabbed me but instead my small intestine was attacking twelve-year-old me. My mum dialled an ambulance and they arrived what seemed like hours later.

I chose to describe this night in my GCSE English Language examination; the question asked to ‘Describe a day from your childhood’, but looking back on it nine years later can be challenging. Having said this I still remember a couple of thoughts from that night as I was driven to hospital, including:
          Is this the gas and air they give pregnant women in hospital?
          This is what it must feel to be drunk.
          Why is it taking so long to get to hospital?
          Fuck. I’m dying.

I also recall thinking that I was lucky to have my mum. She sat next to me in the ambulance holding my hand. I cannot pretend to know what she was thinking. All I know is that I am grateful for having a wonderful mum. I am thankful for all the times she stayed in hospital with me; for when she calmed me down during my emotional outbursts; for the hugs and smiles; and for believing me when I said I was in pain. Thank you for being there for me. 

Thank you for being there for me...Copyright © 2012- geralt. All rights reserved.

Summer 2016 Snapshot of Inflammatory Bowel Disease and Dyspraxia

Summer 2016 Snapshot of Inflammatory Bowel Disease and Dyspraxia

I hope you all are having a wonderful summer. Over the last couple of months I have been fortunate to have had work experience at The Independent, John Murray Press and Radio Verulam. The people I met were lovely and all three placements gave me the chance to raise awareness of Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis and Dyspraxia.

This explains why the writing blog has been rather quiet. So, over the upcoming months I hope to publish more content including short stories, poetry and screenplays, but primarily to write more articles exploring the diverse aspects of living with invisible disabilities. In this post I will explore what possible areas to write about.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease
In terms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, together we have explored colonoscopies; how to deliver a diagnosis; diet; and the larger community.
Some further areas to cover in the near future are:
          The impact on education, work and social life
          Having surgery and its possible implications
          The seriousness of fatigue
          The Modulen Diet and other forms of medication
          A letter written to my Crohn’s Disease

In terms of Dyspraxia we have reflected upon educational psychologist tests; how reading and writing can be impacted; the positives of Dyspraxia; and the larger community.
Some further areas to cover are as follows:
          The impact on education, work and social life
          A letter written to my Dyspraxia
          Anxiety and Depression
          Planning, memory and organisation
          Dyspraxia in the media

Please do share your own suggestions in the comments below or on the Facebook page. Your continued support means a great deal to me so thank you.

Keeping on the subject of Dyspraxia, the Dyspraxia Foundation have launched an urgent campaign to raise funds to ensure their services can continue until they are able to secure long term sustainable funding. They are an amazing charity offering support to thousands of people diagnosed with the specific learning condition and their loved ones. For further details about their campaign please explore their website and their fundraising page at

For now, thank you very much for being there for me. I hope you have a good summer.

Copyright © 2016- Jake Borrett. All rights reserved.

Earliest Memory

Earliest Memory

“What’s your earliest memory?”

I was five years old. I was playing in a field covered in violets with my brother. We twirled and danced in the breeze. The sky was crimson, like a fire had sparked in the heavens. The soft buds made my fingers itch as I stroked them, but I didn’t mind. My brother was smiling and that mattered most.
We were in too much of a trance with nature to notice something watching us from the horizon.
The night fell and the sky turned to blood. Still we played among the violets. I spun in one complete circle and when I stopped I noticed my brother. His smile had gone. There were no tears though. He was just watching a shadow in the distance. He shivered for the last time.

“What’s your earliest memory?”
I kept silent.

My brother was smiling and that mattered most...Copyright © 2012- Bessi. All rights reserved.

The Inflammatory Bowel Disease Community

The Inflammatory Bowel Disease Community

Thursday 19th May 2016 marks World Inflammatory Bowel Disease Day, where all around the globe those impacted by Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis will be raising awareness for the two main conditions. Since being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease at the age of thirteen I have received a massive amount of support from family, friends and the community. In this article I hope to show there is always someone willing to listen, because they listened to me.

The Charities
‘Crohn’s and Colitis UK’ is an incredible charity, helping to improve the lives of those with Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis but they also provide support to loved ones as well. I whole heartedly thank them for the guidance and encouragement they have given me over the years.

Of course ‘Crohn’s and Colitis UK’ is only one example. There has been a huge increase in the number of charities attempting to challenge the stigma over Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Their work has been fundamental, for instance in gaining media coverage for Crohn’s and Colitis from news and radio channels including BBC News and ITV’s This Morning.

The Fighters and Their Supporters
I am thoroughly pleased to say I have been inspired by all those individuals with Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis who have achieved their dreams and ambitions despite their condition. You are all brave fighters. Not only that, but supporters and loved ones have done an incredible job raising awareness and funds, and breaking taboos and silences related to the disability for instance discussing diarrhoea and stoma bags.

Some of these fighters and supporters, like me, have set up writing blogs and pages to share their experiences with Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Here are some of the links to their brilliant pages:
          So Bad Ass
          Crohnies In Need
          Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness
          I have Crohn’s disease and it sucks! Support & social page

This is only a short list because there are thousands of others proving they can fly the purple ribbon and literally kick the butt of their lifelong condition.

The Inflammatory Bowel Disease Community...Copyright © 2016Crohn's and Colitis UK. All rights reserved.

I like to believe there are many wonderful people out there who are willing to listen and inspire others going through dark times. The charities, the fighters and the supporters all do an amazing job and prove ‘The Inflammatory Bowel Disease Community’ is outstanding.

Kite Flying In The Autumn Night

Kite Flying In The Autumn Night
(Dedicated to Enid Borrett, 1927-2016)

In the autumn night a white light from the city below
Splashes onto the knotted bows hanging from string.
As the wind brushes against the stars they start to sing
To the fluttering of the kite dancing in the blue glow.

I watch your tired eyes following the path of the diamond kite;
I follow your small hands tracing the knotted bows in flight;
I beam at your weak smile on the promise of future days;
I cry at your exhausted tears from fear of past dismays.

So I kneel on the grass, hoping nature is kind tonight.
The wind kisses the inches between my two shivering hands.
I pray for the night to give us a gift to silence our fright,
So when I open my eyes the kite softly lands.

I walk the kite over, watching it dance beneath the autumn night.
I wrap the string around your shaking fingers, pull the thread tight;
But in your grasp the kite fights back, its wings start to flap,
Its paper begins to crack and the knots nearly snap.

So under the autumn night you let the kite go.
Together we wave as it rises back into the glow.
The kite tilts its head as if to say goodbye;
Until dawn it shall soar under the autumn sky.

Until dawn it shall soar under the autumn sky...Copyright © 2012- Hazrul Idzwan. All rights reserved.